Lad Gets Jaw Transplant After Heavy Weekend Ecstasy Use
24 year old Martin Bradley was today recovering in University Galway Hospital after pioneering surgery in which his jaw was replaced after heavy use of ecstasy over the weekend.
The Fas course participant was spotted in Eyre Square, Galway Saturday night, and, according to witnesses, was ‘atin the jaw clane off himsell’.
It is thought the Cork native ingested up to 24 tablets in order to make dull and uninspiring dance music seem vaguely interesting.
‘There was absolutely nothing left of it’, stated surgeon Nanooor Banraja, ‘just a bit of gum and the remnants of two teeth. He really is lucky to be alive’.
Witness, Colin Joyce, who wishes to remain anonymous, remarked ‘he was off his tits sham, seriously, but believe me he was pulling out some top shelf dance moves’.
It will take up to four months before Martin’s new jaw can be thoroughly tested and already his brother has ordered some ‘tome fucking yokes’ from their cousin Steve.