34% Increase In DGS Amongst Galway Women
Statistics from the University Hospital Galway has revealed a dramatic increase in cases of DGS amongst young Galway ladies.
DGS, or Dry Gowl Syndrome, is caused when the woman’s lover is far too lazy to engage in a thing called ‘foreplay’ or when the lady herself is far too tired, worrying about nothing important or thinking about what her friend said about her hair the other night.
‘Dry Gowl Syndrome is a curse to these young ladies’, stated woman with a fucking opinion on everything, Kathleen Burke, ‘medically there is no cure as yet but we are actively working on easing the pain for these sufferers’.
One known way to cure the symptoms is to gently treat her like an actual living breathing being and leave your penis in your pants for a few minutes longer. If that fails then the application of generous amounts of spit, butter, KY Jelly or anything slippy at hand.