Irish people To Celebrate The Feast Of St Pancake Today
The people of Ireland will today celebrate the life of Catholic martyr St Pancake, who was fried alive in a big pan in AD106 before being smothered with maple syrup and lemon juice squeezed into his eyes to ‘blindetheth him’.
The martyr, who ran a chain of spongecake shops in the ancient Irish City of Ennis, got on the wrong side of a bunch of pancake making pagans who then killed the Saint, real name Eriu Pancakeus.
According to traditions which are obviously wrong, one Tuesday of every year the Saint returns in pancake form in the faithful’s frying pans to be eaten in a sacred ritual older than something that is considered quite old.
Catholics across the country shall once again partake in a straight up weird custom as their beliefs entail.