Men Ready To Accompany Girlfriends To Fifty Shades Of Grey Premiere
Men across the World have began to buy wet-suits in anticipation of the upcoming premiere of badly written movie ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’.
It is expected hundreds of thousands of reluctant boyfriends and husbands will be dragged along to witness the abuse of a young lady at the hands of her aggressive lover in the name of entertainment.
One such man, Steve Ryan from Galway, spoke to Galway Daily News of his plight, ‘the missus is dragging me along to see that shite, it’s all she’s talked about for months. Sure your man in the book does be beating your one and all and my girlfriend loves it but as soon as I slap her across the face with me lad she goes mental!’.
Sales of mops have gone through the roof as desperate-to-be-beaten ladies flock to the cinema to watch a masochistic fuck fest.
‘I’m only heading out cos all the bures will be gagging for it’ stated 31 year old Edward Flynn, ‘an auld bit of anal would be fucking lovely’, he winked touching himself through his Abercrombie and Fitch tracksuit pants.